Welcome to the Dorm Life

The dorm life is something we have all been apart of.  For most of you, you have experienced the standard college format of living.  You live in a dorm your freshman and sophomore years of college and then finally move out into a house, frat, or an apartment for the remainder of your college career.  Living off campus and not in a dorm is a big step towards adulthood.  If you don't live in a frat you start learning small intricacies of life such as how to use a can opener, how to set up surround sound and of course, how fast bread can get mold (pretty fast).  Anyway, looking back on my dorm life there are always different layouts of rooms, different smells of rooms, but there were always particular items that could be found in any dorm room, regardless of who was living in the room.  Now, you're all saying, "Dude, Tom, the two smelly World of Warcraft kids have nothing in common with my sick ass dorm piece that me and my roomie Chad officially renamed "The Boneyard."  

But listen up broheems who live in dorms, those smelly WOW kids probably have very similar items in their room.  Let's take the quintessential college dorm room, and pretty much, young bachelor pad staple, the American flag.  I've had an American flag hanging over my bed ever since I could remember.  I go to sleep under the symbol of awesomeness that the world calls the flag of the USA every night.  Now the smelly wierdos who live in suite 202 don't have an American flag, but if you went into their room, I guarantee they have a flag for the planet Irka, which is obviously the planet where Zodar the ruler of the Plynx is from.  Yeah I just made all of that shit up, but you get the point I'm trying to make.  They may not have an American flag, but don't mistaken that three-legged eye on a banner as just some "stupid banner," because that stupid banner is those smelly wierdos version of the American flag.  You can do the same with posters, Xbox, jizz rags, the possibilities are endless.  

Considering I did just bring up jizz rags I couldn't help but think back to the most important part of dorm life, you know what I'm talking about, your personal time, your special time, or as I like to call it, your jerking off time.  Is there anything more important at college than this?  Seriously, this trumps schoolwork.  How does it trump schoolwork?  Let me tell you why it trumps schoolwork, you know that hectic week you have coming up, filled with 3 papers and 3 tests, how the hell can you release some stress? Massage?  Too much money.  Video games? Don't have the time.  Your best bet is to take those 30 seconds-1 minute of your life and release that stress the old fashion way.  Now, for you freshman out there (I'm assuming you started school about a month ago) I doubt you're on that level with your roommate in terms of discussing your jerk off plans.  Instead you send him texts like "Yo dude, when are you getting out of class, want to grab some food at the dining hall?" What you're really saying in a text like that is  "Yo fuckface, I'm gonna beat off right now, are you anywhere in the vicinity of our room?"

For all of you who have separate rooms now this is something of the past.  Perhaps you're done with college, or maybe you're a senior, but if thats the case I bet you're on that level with your roommates about discussing your J'ing off times.  You're sitting around with your buddies watching reruns of King of Queens and you start thinking back to when Leah Remini was hot, like when she played Stacey Carosi on Saved by the Bell.  All you have to do now is get up, leisurely walk to your room and before you step in  your room you turn around just to announce "I'm about to jerk off to Leah Remini."  Simple as that.  I know this post was long, but I felt there's a lot to talk about when it comes to dorm life.  Plus, we didn't post anything today, so suck it.  I hope this kept you entertained.  I love everyone who reads NervousCircle, especially the 3 hott babes from Boston College who are currently abroad in Italy.