I Don't Want To Work...

As I often mention in my posts, I am a huge waste of life. I only say this because I'm still in college while all my friends have had jobs for the past 2 years and are responsible, not-so-much respectable human beings in the real world. Granted there has been some life-speed bumps I was never expecting (thank you Barry Collier for all your great work at Butler) and I really don't make too many excuses about my situation. Wait, no that's a total lie, that's all I do. Anyway, I've been in college long enough that I attend school with people who were born in 1992. That doesn't sound that weird probably to some of our readers who were born in the '90s, but it is really weird to me (born in '86). I have some strange feeling knowing I can hook up with a chick who was born during a year I could remember. I'm sure this starts dissipating as you get older, and lonelier but I can remember distinct moments from the year 1992. As of right now in my life, I'm avoiding girls born in the '90s, as I hope many of you are doing as well. Stick with the babes from the '80s, it never did me wrong.

Ok, I got off topic there for a minute, because what this post is really about is how I do not have a job, and I catch so much shit for it. People like to attack me for still being in college. I get it, I'm an easy target and I'm also able to take it since I'd like to think I dish it out with the best of them. I'll spend my days on breaks from school just lounging around my house, Spaniards apartment, or random alleys I find suitable for classy homeless people. My friends and family will always ask what I did for the day. If I tell them the "usual" (watched the Food Network/ESPN, ate Doritos and didn't shower) they always respond with the standard "What a life, your such a bum." At first I would always think "man, they're so right, I am a bum." But then I started realizing something.

Everyday I'd get emails or texts from my friends saying how much they hated their jobs. It was non-stop, they'd complain all day about waking up early, going to work, sitting there for 8-hours and then just contemplate ways of getting fired/committing suicide. Well maybe not commit suicide but you get the point. After all this complaining they would attack me for not having a job. Well shit, having one sounds so pleasant, I can't wait! You see, they were envious of my lazy bum lifestyle. They'd complain all day about how miserable they're lives were and then look over at me, unshaven and not showered, doing nothing with my life and they can't stand it. Since I am still a college student it's okay for me to not shower, shave, have any real plan in life or wear condoms. Who wouldn't want this non-responsible lifestyle? Most of my friends have really good jobs, and make a good amount of money, and yet, I know they'd change positions with me in second--even if they don't admit it. Until I graduate and enter the workforce I will live my life to the fullest; to the fullest of being lazy.