Top 5 Disgusting Habits We Do and Love

Well, we've never really prided ourselves on saying that NervousCircle was a respectable, professional and morally upright website. In fact, we mainly pride ourselves on the fact that we're more likely to write about fart jokes and beer than any real issue in the world, such as healthcare reform, global warming or how some bags of chips that used to be $.99 cents are now $1.29--yeah, I know, it's ridiculous right? I know many of my posts deal with less complex and thoughtful issues, but that's why you read NC. If you wanted a solid opinion on an important issue just go to CNN, otherwise keep reading on because I'm about to get as immature as you can when writing a post. I am going to make a Top 5 list based on what we as people do that is pretty gross, and yet, we enjoy doing it. Check it out and give me your thoughts, this is in no particular order by the way:

5. Dutch Oven (Basically Smelling Your Own Fart): I've written before about the art of Dutch Ovening and let's be real, tons of people do this all the time. Yeah, you're lying in your bed, smelling your own fart and to anyone else it smells absolutely horrible but to you, it is not that bad, it's rather relaxing and pleasant. Why the hell is this? There's got to be some type of weird science going on there. Anyway, just think about this, your wallowing in your own poop particles and enjoying it. If i were to tell you, that'd you actually enjoy spending your hungover Sunday's smelling the most rancid smell under your blanket wouldn't you think that I'd be a little crazy? Well call me crazy when on Sunday you're huffing your farts like they're going out of style.

4. Smelling your balls/grundle sweat: I know we have girls that read this blog but I'm sure if you hang around dudes, or have brothers, or a boyfriend you understand what I'm talking about. All the bros who read NC know exactly what I'm talking about. You know those days when you don't shower and you've been watching tons of reality TV, or college football and girls start making their way over to your place. Once that starts to happen you stick your hand down your pants, gently wipe your fingers right under you ball sack and then bring that pending smelly hand right back up to your nose. You guys remember when I used to do the whole Adventures of Ron stories? Well Ron has perfected this. Hell, Ron's that dude amongst my friends that will actually smell your fingers, no questions asked. Why do we do this as men? We know it's going to smell like shit, and yet, we do it weekly, maybe even daily. Even though after we smell our fingers we always go "oh man, my ball sweat smells soo bad," we smell it maybe 3 or 4 times after this. I guess it just lets us know how bad we need to shower, and also gives us comfort in how bad we can actually smell. It must be part of our whole cavemen side.

3. Popping Zits: Yeah, we love doing this. Everyone does. As soon as we started getting zits around 7th grade we were hooked to popping zits like it was crack. I am very fortunate in that I never had to use Proactiv, or had any type of backne, maybe if I did I wouldn't enjoy popping zits as much as I do now. During my high school years when zits were a regular on my face I loved when I had the opportunity to pop a large, disgusting zit. Man, I know girl's that would ask to pop other people's zits. What is our obsession with popping these things? Now, everyone's favorite zits are the ones that explode all over the mirror. I know I'm right about this, and again, how disgusting is that? It's just puss, and zit juice all over the mirror and yet we feel like we just B'd our L all over some girl's T's. Sometimes, after we pop a zit all over the mirror we'll call our friends into the bathroom to checkout the aftermath. This isn't the only time we call our friends in to checkout some aftermath in the bathroom. In fact, this gives a nice lead up to numero 2.

2. Taking a dump: There's a reason we call toilets our thrones. We feel like Kings when were sitting there, no care in the world, just unleashing all hell on the thing. If your like my friends and I you'll know that when you have your private time is probably the most relaxing part of your day. You may read a magazine, maybe a book, but most of us either make all our phone calls when were dropping heat. I know for a fact I've called Spaniard on numerous occasions when I'm taking a dump and you know what he's doing? He's taking a dump as well. During my internship this summer I would go to the bathroom as many times as possible, sometimes to just sit on the toilet and play some Brickbreaker. Now, as I talked about in the 3rd one, after we take a dump like Mr. Marsh did in that South Park episode we call everyone we know to come check out the size of our disgusting dump. We are a strange species.

1. Picking your nose: Yeah, I love picking my nose. When we were little, we'd pick our nose and eat it, but now, we just pick the hell out of our nose. I usually pick my nose when I'm driving in my car or sitting in class. I really don't even care now if people see me. I go with the classic thumb pick now. The thumb pick says your not that serious about getting after all the boogers and that you don't mind getting boogers all over your BlackBerry. I know when I drive around in my car and I'm digging for gold people will look at me and share a little laugh. Well fuck those people, because I guarantee in the security of their home they go to town on their nose, I just have no shame in that regard.

Welp that's the list. Sorry if I'm missing some disgusting habit we do and love, but I think I nailed all the ones that belong in the Top 5. Oh yeah, this is what I do in my spare time. Make lists about disgusting habits. And what do you do in your spare time? Read it. Whose the weird one? New South Park tonight, looking forward to it. Later.