Dirty Laundry

Remember when you first rolled into college? Backwards hat, shorts, rainbow sandals and a colorful frat bro polo was your go to look for that first day. You were letting everyone know what the hell you were about. Which is obviously being exactly like everyone else at your college. You were so excited about everything and by everything I mean the ability to drink every night, while having a threesome with the hottest girls at the school. At least that's what I thought college was about. Boy I was wrong. If there's one thing you don't think about when you first start attending college, it's the responsibility you have to actually take care of yourself. Going to class, eating properly, showering, and doing homework are all things we did as second nature when we were in high school. Yeah you can throw that taking care of yourself idea out the window after about a month of college.

Optional class? Awesome. Bacon, cheese fries on a hot dog topped with butter? That's breakfast. Sweatpants and a hat solve the showering dilemma. And lastly, you don't have homework in college. Just papers and tests. Now, obviously if you have any ounce of self-respect you did take care of yourself somewhat because you didn't want to be stuck hooking up with 4's on a consistent basis. However, one thing you really slacked at, and probably still do after college, is doing laundry. The thing is you get away with not doing the laundry because you own tons of shirts, no one really washes their pants and you dry clean your button downs. There is one article of clean clothing that seems to disappear rather quickly though. I'm talking of course, about your undies.

Every dude knows exactly what I'm talking about. For you laxers out there, don't worry, we've all worn our lax spandex as undies. I know I have. In fact, once I start wearing my lax spandex as undies, that's when I know I have to do laundry. If you don't own lax spandex then I'm sure you have done some really gross things with your underwear. Turned them inside out? Yeah sure that other side is somewhat cleaner but now everyone can see your jizz stains and skid marks. Be sure not to wear those inside-out-undies anywhere in public. Skid marks is quite possibly the grossest thing you can see in underwear aside from a blood stain (oh man, I almost vomited). If a girl spots skid marks in your underwear, you better believe she will never hook up with you again. If she does though, I think you've found yourself a keeper, whose pretty gross. Welp that's it. Wanna know why I wrote this post? I'm wearing some lax spandex right now. I guess it's time to do some laundry.