Poll Results

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you all got some sweet presents and enjoyed spending time with your families over the weekend. New Years is coming up and I hope your all excited just like I am. For me New Years is like the winter version of the Fourth of July. You just get absolutely hammered with all your friends and the best part about New Years is you get to make out with a girl strictly because the clock says 12:00. But that's a totally different post I'll write about later. This post is about the recent poll that was up on NC.

Usually here on NC we have really, really retarded polls, luckily that will never change. Often times more than 68 people will vote on these polls. However, after making quite possibly the worst "Would You Rather" question, only 68 people decided to answer the latest poll. The thing is, this recent "Would You Rather" was a no-brainer. I expected everyone to vote for the option of watching Lou Holtz bang your girlfriend rather than watch a porn starring your parents. Fortunately, 63 of you chose the Lou Holtz option, but 5 weirdos opted to watch a porn starring their parents. I truly hope they didn't mean that. Let's be real here. Lou Holtz, one of the most celelbrated college coaches in America, and currently better known as the old guy on ESPN who has the worst lisp in the world, isn't someone I'd want my girlfriend sleeping with. Who wants to see an old man, with saggy balls telling your girlfriend "Lishen, thish feelsh great, lesh shitxty nine or shomething."

No one wants their girlfriend banging another dude, let alone a super old one who sounds as if his mouth is filled with saliva and marbles. But I mean, c'mon, I'd watch gross, old Lou Holtz plowing my girlfriend any day over watching my parents star in a porn. Can you imagine actually watching that? I can't, and I don't want to. Vomit central. I know I'll never have to deal with either of these happening, but do you know whose going to have to deal with one of these? Jenna Jameson's kids. She's pregnant with twins. They will of course be the coolest kids in school. Everyone will want to go over their house, maybe recreate some scenes. I know I'd be best friends with those kids.