Slobs And Celebrities

There are so many beautiful women in the world. The best looking women are of course, celebrities. I mean, if they weren't attractive why the hell would anyone care about them? Personalities? No thanks, fat girls have good personalities, I don't see them in any celeb gossip magazines. If there's one thing that stands true though, it's so many hot celebrities date/marry/bone absolute slobs/nerds/ugly dudes. Most people hate when this happens. Remember how many people hated Kevin Federline? I never hated him. In fact I was beyond jealous of him and if I ever met him I would give him a big high five and say "job well done." I understand most of this anger towards celeb bros who bang really hot chicks exists because everyone is envious of them. Although I give all these dudes credit for taking down some of the best looking celeb tail out there, it still boggles my mind as to how these guys pulled it off. If anything this gives hope to all of us. I'm not famous, I'm definitely a slob but I do have dreamy, make your heart melt, sky blue eyes. Cha-ching, I'm totally gonna date a celeb. Aside from all of this, I've decided that each week I will post two bros who are currently dating/married, or at least have dated/married a really hot celebrity. Please comment on who you think is the bigger slob/nerd/douche/lucky son of a bitch, thus making him more respectable in my eyes.

Jamie Mazur: This dude is my pick as the luckiest guy in the world. His current fiancee, Alessandra Ambrosio, is hands down my number 1 on my Top 10 babes list. She is absolutely incredible. She is the epitome of good looking. Now this guy is apparently a "businessman" from California. Yeah, most "businessmen" wear low top Chuck T's, v-neck shirts and pre-ripped jeans. Want to know what kind of business he's involved in? He sells jeans to college campuses. I don't even know how that works? I'd feel like a girl would respect me more if I told her my day job was writing for a blog rather than selling jeans. Anyway, Jamie is not only engaged to this Brazilian beauty but he also has a kid with her. Smart move Jamie. This dude will be collecting child support from Alessandra if things in the relationship go sour. If I were this dude I'd quit the whole jeans business and just become a full time stay-at-home dad to make sure my smoke show of a soon-to-be wife was always happy. What do you people think?

Joseph D. Reitman: Now, although this guy is no longer with Shannon Elizabeth, according to my go-to source for college papers, Wikipedia, they've never finalized their divorce. So technically this guy is still married to the girl every dude jerked off to during our middle school years. I can't even tell you what else Shannon Elizabeth is in, and you know what? I really don't care. Once I saw her great boobs in American Pie I was sold. I've been in love with her ever since. Regardless of her fame, she's still a 10. And look at this guy, I mean, he must have a huge dick or some shit. This guy is a fat slob. He was with Shannon for over 10 years! Apparently this bro is an actor. Really? What the hell have you ever been in Joe? Tough break for Joe though, after his split from Shannon he's now dating professional poker player, Annie Duke. Woof. This dude definitely deserves some credit because even though he looks like a homeless, child molester, he did bang one of the hottest girls out there. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.