Celebrating Mediocrity

So the Olympics is finally over. I know what you're all thinking, "How the hell am I going get my ice dancing fix now?" My answer to that question is simple, find a frozen lake, bring some babes and crank up the tunes. Anyway, during the Olympics we as Americans were fortunate to see our country dominate and actually take home the most medals ever by a country in a Winter Olympics. One of the more recognizable athletes from the Winter Olympics, Apolo Ohno, helped the U.S. in the medal count by winning 3 medals (2 bronze, 1 silver) and in doing so became the most decorated Winter Olympic athlete of all-time by winning a total of 8 medals throughout his career. Good job Apolo, you've won 8 medals (2 gold, 2 silver, 4 bronze) but you still managed to annoy the shit out of me because frankly, were celebrating your mediocrity. Some of you may disagree with me but don't you think after watching someone like Michael Phelps win 8 gold medals in a single Olympics we should maybe pull back on our praise for Ohno who didn't win a single gold medal at this Olympics and has only won 2 golds in his career?

Again, I know Ohno is talented and deserves (some) credit but that doesn't change the fact that when I saw Ohno skating around the ice rink holding up 8 fingers it really grinded my gears. You can't do that Apolo. If you're holding up 8 fingers I sure as shit hope it means you've come in first, 8 times. Did the Buffalo Bills of the early 90's go around holding up 4 fingers because they made it to the Super Bowl four times? No, they didn't, and do you know why they didn't? Because they never won the Super Bowl 4 times, but they did lose it 4 times. If you were to get 2 A's, 2 B's and 4 C's on a report card would you be going around flaunting it? No, you wouldn't, because a C is mediocre much in the same way a bronze medal is.

Another thing about the sport of speed skating is that only about 5 countries competed in the events anyway, so when you don't medal in an event (which happend to Ohno), it just shows you suck that much more. Maybe I'm in the minority here but I don't get how in America, a country of people that prides itself on trying to be the best in everything, can go around thinking Apolo Ohno is the man. This whole record of him being the most decorated athlete will only last until the next Olympics when some crazy Korean dude wins like 10 gold medals in speed skating. I also think I'd be less annoyed by Ohno if he didn't have that gay soul patch.