Even though it's Wednesday and this happened on Monday night, I need to write about it. I'm talking of course about The Bachelor Finale. I know a lot of you bros out there don't watch The Bachelor, and I can't blame you, I used to be the same way. That was until I saw one episode and realized what great television it was. Such great awkward moments and the girls on the show while they are all highly unstable, they are also absolute smoke shows. Now I assume the majority of our readers didn't follow this season of the Bachelor so bare with me on this post.
The finale came down to, obviously, 2 chicks. The girls were quite different. No not different in personality because they were both unstable and crazy but one of the girls was hot and the other was woof. However, in quite the shocker, the hot girl didn't win. The girl who lost, Tenley, is gorgeous, and I figured she'd be the winner from the first episode but I guess Jake does not like attractive women. It turns out that the Bachelor digs ugly chicks as he opted for Vienna, woof.
I totally know why he chose Vienna though, since it wasn't for her looks it has to be that she is a total freak in the bed. Although we were never able to see the sex scenes, you don't need any to know this girl goes crazy in the sheets. First off, she lives in like a trailer park in Florida. Trailer park girls aren't known for their morals and beliefs in abstinence, I mean, we've all seen Maury. Secondly, she has a huge tat on her stomach, that's just as good as a lower back tattoo in terms of meaning a bullseye. Lastly, she'd been married before when she eloped with her high school boyfriend. Yeah, I wonder what made that guy elope with her? Her ability to cook him breakfast in the morning? Doubt it. Look, I wouldn't be surprised if on their last "date" on the show Vienna let Jake bang her in the ass. Yeah I said it. Anyway, as most of the couples from these shows don't last, I don't see Vienna and Jake making it too long either. I have a feeling Jake's going to walk in on Vienna getting pounded out by Tiger Woods or at least by some black guy who told her his name was Tiger Woods.
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