Welcome To The Jungle

You know when you get to a party and you're in a rush to get drunk because, duh, you're more fun when you're shitfaced? Well is there anything better than seeing a jug full of jungle juice when your in dire need to get banged up? Whatever you call it, jungle juice, skippy, roofie colada, it doesn't matter because it's always delicious and filled with tons of booze. For some reason a lot of people think jungle juice is only for chicks. While girls always love jungle juice, I don't know what bros wouldn't want to drink it. Think about it, it's always filled with 3-4 handles of booze and usually a large amount of beer and like I said, it's the lifeblood of getting your night going in the right (wrong decision) direction. Jungle juice (JJ) does cause some issues though. Aside from sending late night texts to your ex-girlfriend asking her if she's down to 69, JJ will also send you to the hospital.

Fortunately, I have never been to the hospital for any type of alcohol related issue, but I know tons of people who have. Last year at St. Lawrence, JJ was behind sending a bunch of freshman from a single party to the hospital. While most people will recognize these kids as young, immature students, I just call them pussies (because I'm the fucking man). However, while JJ may be responsible for making some girls pass out wrapped around a toilet in their own vomit, it is also responsible for helping numerous bros hook up with chicks way out of their league, as booze always does. I feel like jungle juice is always looked over or forgotten about at parties. I'll tell you one thing, if I were a bar, I'd just have an entire jug of jungle juice as an option for a drink. I personally forgot about jungle juice being that I am now 2 months removed from college, but this weekend while at 'Cuse I was pleasantly surprised with some delicious, booze filled JJ. The next time your at party and you see a keg sitting behind the bar, don't be in a rush to jump in line for the Natty Light, because I'm sure somewhere close there's a large jug of JJ waiting to be drank.