Couple of wiley old vets in the weekly awards section today. Unfortunately, each dude is shown in entirely different lights, and moving in opposite directions on the public opinion meter.
DOTW
Remember that massive financial crisis like 2 years ago? But even with the smartest dudes in finance, the Fed, and the economics world on the job, that shit happened and it’s still going on. So when you can’t turn to the MBAs, the CEOs, CFOs etc., there arereally only two other options. Arnold Schwarzenegger is one, but his foray into politics/economics has been a disaster. Despite his awesome roles in legendary action flicks, apparently the guy can’t do everything. So who does that leave? A man who’s aliases include B.A. Baracus and Clubber Lang. Mr. T appears to be the key out of this financial mess. Bloomberg TV was the first one on this, and featured him in a segment the other day discussing his “investment” in gold.
Carl Icahn, George Soros, Michael Paulson. Mr. T. Why not right? Bloomberg TV, are you fucking serious? His “investment” in gold? Dude had big muscles, a few catch phrases and a Mohawk, got rich quick and bought as much bling as he could. Do you really think he was considering the long term rise of gold when he was doing that? Of course not, dude was trying to look sharp, beat up white dudes and get pussy. We’re throwing investment around pretty loosely here.
But regardless of his initial intentions, the fact that Mr. T not only “struck gold” with his fashion statement 25 years ago, but he has once again managed to make himself relevant, this time within the financial world. So here’s to you Mr. T, Dude of the Week. Gold and commodity traders all over the place have to be sick to their stomachs. This is worse than the Situation and DJ Pauly D ringing the opening bell of the NYSE.
DUD
This guys been around for a while too, but has managed to keep himself continuously relevant, to the point of being annoying. That’s right, everyone’s favorite senior citizen QB Brett Favre. As we all know now, Brett got in a little bit of trouble for some alleged extra-marital activities. He apparently sent lewd texts and pictures of his dick to former Jets sideline reporter/hottie/bimbo Jenn Sterger. You might remember her from her sexy pictures in the stands during games at Florida State, where she was their #1 Fan/un-official cheerleader/cum-dumpster.
Before I get to B
rett, lets talk about Sterger. I know she hasn’t really said anything, so I’m not going to call her a gold digger. This is a report out of Deadspin.com (which, I might add, is a little to close in name to Meatspin.com for my liking) so it’s not a situation where she cried wolf, and its not exactly the New York Times. But this is a broad who has made a career out of wearing skimpy outfits and being a slut. She now hosts a college football show on Vs. Does she look like she has any idea whats actually going on in a football game? Not to me she doesn’t. It looks like her favorite parts of football are the tight pants, black dudes and huge NFL contracts. Seriously, think about the girls you know who go by Jenn with 2 n’s; I bet they all love sucking dick. So I’m not shocked someone on the team sent her some dicks pics; we’ve seen this a million times. What’s weird is that she saved them. It’s an ace up the sleeve to fuck Favre which I hate in theory, but kind of like that something this bad about Favre was out there all this time. But I digress.Brett, Brett, Brett. Haven’t we all learned anything from Greg Oden, Grady Sizemore and Martellus Bennett? I know you sent these two years ago, but once again dude, use your fucking head. Everything that is sent from your phone, email, twitter, IPad, whatever it my be now is going to be out there forever. I don’t know why these jackbags can’t figure this out. Before you send pictures of your dick to the slut that works for your team say to yourself, “Wait a minute; I’m a sports legend, hero to millions, husband to a beautiful wife who SURVIVED CANCER, father of two girls, Wrangler jeans pitchman and Hall of Famer. I have all that to lose, and access to one sluts goodies to gain if I do this. Doesn’t seem worth the it.” And really Brett, the excerpts in the NY Post make you seem borderline retarded.
"I saw you in tunnel last week got your name from front office person I'm new to team with gray hair all info I can give don't want to give much this was only to try and reach you without being obvious," was apparently written on MySpace. You put that on MySpace Brett? How is that subtle at all? You were the most famous gray haired new guy in the history of the Jets, and you think that’s not being obvious? I’m surprised it didn’t say, “I wear a number between 3 and 5.” And who the fuck uses MySpace anymore?
I guess he should’ve gotten in touch with Mr. T about risk management; maybe hedge his bet buy buying his wife a $4 million ring, Kobe style. And as much as I hate to give Barstoolsports.com credit, you've got to love this shirt.
2 comments:
A lot of those shirts are pretty damn funny... you guys should come up with some nervous circle shirts! make some money off this piece of shit blog.
T-SHIRT: Do it like Ron, the Australian backhand
That was a throwback post!
Stumbled onto this post and wow...
Just so you are aware and actually have someone say what you desperately need to hear: your comments on Sterger are hilariously retarded, unfounded and chauvinistic.
Congratulations on being a stupid irredeemable fuck without one substantial piece of commentary to make on the situation. Way to settle for, "she's clearly a slut" since she's hot and then proceed to berate her for doing what any other person would do. Your sense of entitlement on the matter strikes me as the cries of a deeply insecure person and arguably a repressed homosexual given your obvious fear of women who decide to take measures when they feel slighted, especially considering any media controversy where a man is responsible for a leak, they are seemingly more exempt. I'm not saying you are gay but yeah, I kind of am.
Welcome to the age of new media where if you are harassed by a powerful figure, you actually have agency to do something about it instead of settling for people's cries that it is conjecture and grossly outdated perceptions of what women are and aren't "allowed" to do or say. I know you would prefer that people who are sexually harassed - and make no mistake, that is exactly what this was - keep their mouths shut since you are so wildly and bafflingly misogynistic, but strangely enough, she didn't share your perspective. You mean while on the job she was harassed by an intimidating and influential individual and she told someone about it?! What strange and surprising news! What a gold digger!
Newsflash, if any person irrespective of who they are receives unsolicited pictures of some dude's dick, they would probably tell someone. The fact that this is lost on you is just astounding. Was she supposed to laugh it off like it was good-natured? It's sexual harassment and she reacted, that tends to be how these things work.
Also, yeah I agree, what a whore for getting a TV show and using her looks, infamy, and sport connections to make a living.
Someone taking a plush job in an industry where they rarely present themselves - especially for women - is such a surprise and so unmerited... Goddamn your douchebaggery is astounding.
She's been photographed at games since she was at Arizona State, she probably has at least a tangential understanding of the sport and considering half of entertainment is predicated on your looks, why are you surprised she has a show?
Do yourself a favor. Next time you are watching two dudes fucking the same chick while high-fiving, consider what you are actually doing and your obvious fear of women gaining leverage, power or security in the modern world. Then maybe you can confront how much of a repressed fuck you actually are.
Congratulations.
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